Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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