She's JV to your varsity
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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