Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
