we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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