i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize