i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
