Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got inside last night via doggy door
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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