please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
