Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
