I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
