Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
