So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
