Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
