I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
