He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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