I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
