Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
