I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize