we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
