He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize