have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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