ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
