We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
