Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
