Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
