OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
