Having a random hookup so left but love u
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
