My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
