Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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