I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So squirting runs in the family.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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