"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize