walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
