dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
