last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
