she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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