Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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