jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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