You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
