my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
