If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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