im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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