I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
