Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
