I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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