I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
