There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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