last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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