you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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