But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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