i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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