I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
