i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
