So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
