idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
