you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
