Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
