also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
