There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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