her vagine was all disorganized.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
