So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
