I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
