I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
