everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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