I wanna bring you to show and tell
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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